No Saviour
by berryandlisa
Summary: Harry is abused by his relatives at Number Four Privet Drive. The only horizon he sees is far away and will never come fast enough. Set after OotP. WARNINGS: no happy ending, abuse, suicide mentions, etc. May contain triggers!
1. Chapter 1

Again and Again. He keeps hitting me with the belt. Again and again.

All I can feel is pain all over my chest where the belt is slapping me again and again. He always has me take off my shirt when he punishes me. I've thought it was so I can be in more pain, but right now I can't think at all. I feel tears start stinging my eyes and try to keep them from falling. I can taste the dryness in my throat from lack of sufficient food and water. My mouth is open trying gasp in breath as he keeps hitting me.

Uncle Vernon has my hands held tied above my head on the headboard of the bed. He keeps my legs pinned under his leg as he brutally beats me with his belt.

"YOU- NEED- TO- BE-HAVE!" He growls between hits, "YOU- WORTHLESS- LITTLE- _PRAT!_"

I feel myself starting to slip into unconsciousness. I plead, "please, don't! I will! I will behave!" I let out a moan when he finally hits me across the face with the belt and know he's finally done. My eyes are squeezed tight to try and block off the pain, but it doesn't help. He roughly grabs my face and hisses, "You will learn one way or another, boy!" He lets go and leaves my room wiping sweat from his forehead.

I just lay there and sob. I try to bring up my legs but stop when I feel pain ricochet up them. I put my head on my shoulder and cry. I can't control myself, for the pain and misery of it all is too much.

Why am I here? Why did my mother have to die for me? Why do people insist on keeping me at this awful house? I'd tried talking to Sirius- the name brings more pain- about getting me out of there (though I didn't mention what was actually happening) but he said I was safe there. Yeah. Safe from _Voledemort._ But not safe from all harm.

As the wracking sobs subside, I feel drowsiness start falling onto me. I gratefully seize the opportunity to escape and fall into a deep sleep.

* * *

I hear her before I see her. Aunt Petunia walk in and unties my hands without a word and when I collapse on the floor she kicks me and mutters, "Get up and make breakfast." She looks at me disgustedly before walking out of the room.

I had already been lying awake for a few minutes, so I wasn't too groggy. I push myself up with clenched teeth, put my shirt on over my sore chest, and hurry from the bedroom.

I nearly fell down the stairs and when I reach the kitchen I start making some bacon and eggs. As I cook I allow my thoughts to wander.

I can sort of see why no one suspects me being abused. I'm 16. I should be able to take care of myself. And besides, I'm well behaved enough there's no reason for me to be abused.

And there's that little detail about me being "the Chosen One." I'm supposed to save everyone from Voldemort. I'm supposed to save the world. I've defeated my enemy 5 times already, it should be a breeze. Not only that, but if I can beat the Dark Lord _5 times_ I should have no trouble defending myself against a muggle.

But the problem is I do. I do have trouble with defending myself against a muggle. It's kind of hard to fight back against a man who's 6 times your size. And a part of me believes them. A part of me is so insecure that I believe I'm worthless and stupid. I believe that I don't deserve to live. So many people have died for me already, why should I allow more to?

Oh, and the rumors and news lines there would be if I had to be rescued from my muggle family. "THE SAVIOUR OF US NEEDED SAVING" "DO WE HAVE THE WRONG CHOSEN ONE?" "HARRY POTTER TOO WEAK TO DEFEND HIMSELF AGAINST MUGGLES" Those sound about right.

So, I stay silent. I don't complain to anyone anywhere. I keep my mouth shut and conceal all my wounds, new and old, that come from living with the Dursleys.

"BOY!"I cringe when I hear Uncle Vernon yell my name. I walk into the living room with my head down and say quietly, "Yes?" My uncle hands me a piece of paper with my impossible chores for the day. I resist a sigh and walk back into the kitchen without a word and serve breakfast to everyone but himself.

I wait for everyone to finish and then do the dishes. Finally, when I get a spare moment, I glance at what I have to do today. I know I will be lucky to get through half the list, but if I don't try I will pay.

51 more days until I'm at Hogwarts.

**Will update soon! I will try to update this about everyday maybe more, so just keep checking back for more!**


	2. Chapter 2

As I lay in bed, my hands tied to the headboard, I know I am never going to be the Saviour. I know that I can never really be a hero and never have been. Everything that has happened to me was just others being the hero. My mom, Dumbledore, Dumbledore again, my mom again. I had had help every time I'd faced Voldemort.

_Which is also why I'll never be able to defeat my uncle._ The thought came unbidden into my head, but I didn't let it go. I know it's true. I know that I will always be everything he's ever called me. Worthless, hopeless, stupid.

I try to twist into a more comfortable position, but only cause myself more pain. I clench my teeth as I slowly move onto my side and bring my knees up to my chest a little.

"I'M GOING TO KILL HIM!" I hear from downstairs. I can't help but cry and mutter, "Please! Please, no..."

And I'm not surprised to feel Uncle Vernon's huge, meaty hand grab my legs, using the other to slap me over and over with his belt. I plead at him to stop, but he doesn't. He never gives in to my begging and never slows until I finally pass out from the pain.

* * *

The following morning, I wake up to Aunt Petunia prodding me in the side, sending a tremendous amount of pain through my chest that I'm left gasping for air. "Time to get up, boy," she says before untying my hands and exiting the room. Merlin, I am so _sore_.

I limp from the room and make hash browns and pancakes for Dudley. After setting them on the table though, Dudley elbows me so sharply that I lose my balance and crash to the floor with a cry of pain. Uncle Vernon is there in a flash and yanks me up by hair saying, "Get started on your chores you good-for-nothing child!"

Without a sound, I start taking out the garbage when I hear my uncle call, "We're going out today. You'd better have the chores on the table finished when we get back, or else..." The threat left hanging sent shivers down my spine. Sure enough, when I check the table there is an ominous list of impossible chores awaiting my doing. I sigh.

Nearly halfway through the day, when I'm cleaning my aunt and uncle's room I find something on the dresser that catches my eye. I go to take a closer look and notice a key. _Why is there a key on their dresser and what's it for?_

I continue to stare at the key when it dawns on me. What if the key unlocks the cupboard with all his stuff from Hogwarts?! I hastily grab the key and put it in my pocket to check if my suspicions are true later.

I keep working on my chores, but feel a bit lighter now that I have the key. It felt as though I might even be able to escape. I'll be able to see Ron and Hermione and...

I suddenly realize that I don't _want_ to see them. I don't want anyone to know what a freak I am and how I can't defend myself against my uncle. I don't want anyone to see all my scars and think I'm helpless.

I'm so caught up in the two sides of me arguing about what to do, that I don't hear the Dursely's return. I only notice them when I hear Uncle Vernon roar from upstairs, "WHERE IS MY KEY?!"

**Yeah, it's a bit short and it's late, but I'm working on it. Please review. Also, the world and characters aren't mine. They belong to J.K. Rowling. And just so everyone knows, I don't have any intention of ending this anytime soon. Therefore, you can expect many chapters to come! Will update soon!**


	3. Chapter 3

When I hear that voice I panic. All I can think is _I have it!_ I can't breathe and I feel myself collapse.

I wake up moments later to Uncle Vernon and a knife over my head. He slashes the knife over my chest and I scream in pain. He continues to cut me and hit and kick me until my body has had enough and I fall into unconsciousness.

_What did I do to deserve_ _**this?**_

* * *

When I resurface to consciousness I am in a dark room I recognize all too well as the cupboard. Uncle Vernon must have dragged me under here. I look around for my Hogwarts stuff, but it's nowhere to be found. I cry silently and my body shakes from the effort. I can only hope I'm found soon.

All through the night I'm crying. I can't sleep. The pain is too much. I feel myself still bleeding out. I feel my life start to slip away and when I see a light, I know I'm dying and smile as the light over takes me.

* * *

Miles away in a large room a man with long, black, greasy hair is arguing with an older man. The older man has long white hair and beard.

"I _know_ he's in trouble! I can feel it!" The black haired one says, "Albus, We have to get him out!"

"Severus, you know we can't. Harry's safest there with the-"

"Blood ward. I know, but that's not enough. Please, can we just check on him?"

Dumbledore sighs looking weary and even older than before. "Tomorrow. We'll just watch what's going on if that'll help you know he's safe."

Snape continues to argue. "NO! He's in trouble NOW!"

"I have given you my offer. Take it or leave."

Snape stares incredulously at the man in front of him. Is he really just going to leave the boy there? But there's nothing he can do now. He'll just have to wait. "Very well," he eventually says before sweeping from the room.

But later as he tries to get some sleep he can't let go of the nagging suspicion that something is very wrong. He lies awake for hours before finally falling into a light sleep.

* * *

The following day Dumbledore and Snape arrive on Privet drive, just a few houses down from Harry. They walk down to the house under an invisibility spell. They stand outside the window and look inside. All they see is the cupboard of which Harry used to reside.

All through the day they watch with no sight of Harry. They do see the door to the cupboard open and close a few times and begin to get suspicious. Snape looks at Dumbledore and hisses, "Where is he?"

Dumbledore keeps his eyes fixated on the cupboard door as though trying to see through it. A fire seems to be burning in his eyes when he turns to his companion and says, "Why don't we pop in for a moment or two?"

Snape nods and says, "I believe that would be most wise."

The older man walks to the front door and knocks clearly three times. They are greeted by a fat, purple faced man who glares between the two of them and says, "No! We don't know where the boy went. He ran away last night."

As the big man goes to close the door Dumbledore puts his foot in the way to stop it. "May we just take a look around to see if we can get a clue as to where he went?" Before the man inside the door has a chance to respond, Dumbledore and Snape are walking in to investigate.

Snape marches straight to the cupboard and mutters, _"Alohomora!"_

He is greeted by a thick stench of blood when the door opens and is horrified by the scene in front of him.

Dumbledore is suddenly beside him and says, _"Lumos!"_

There is blood everywhere; on the walls, on the small bed, the sheets. Source of the blood seemed to be in a small heap in a corner of the small room. The small heap Snape soon recognized as Harry and he fell on his knees beside the boy. He turned the body carefully and immediately turned to Dumbledore- who was frozen in shock- and said, "We need to get him out of here."

Dumbledore nods slowly and moves when Snape lifts the boy up and out. Dumbledore said, "Give him to me. The quicker he gets to Poppy the better."

Snape nods and while handing him over says, "I need to get his things anyway."

Dumbledore smiles and Apparates out. Snape turns to the horrified faces of the family.

**Please review! I have worked so hard on this! I hope you guys are pleased. Will be posting new chapter soon. )**


	4. Chapter 4

Snape Apparates a while later outside the boundaries of Hogwarts and rushes up to the infirmary as fast as he can. He wonders how badly Potter is hurt. He wonders if there is anything they can do to save him.

He hoped he avenged him enough. If not, he would gladly go back for more. At this point however, they would need to heal from their current injuries so he has more to hurt.

When he enters the infirmary he finds Dumbledore sitting in a chair looking exhausted and old. It takes him a minute to spot the boy lying on a bed, looking deathly pale. Snape approaches cautiously and asks, "How bad?"

Dumbledore recites what he heard. A broken wrist, broken leg, several fractured and broken ribs, and cuts and bruises covering his body. His blood as been replenished, and they think he will make it. "However," Dumbledore says, "we have no idea how much psychological help he will need. We don't know what's happening in his head."

Snape hoped this didn't mean anything bad.

* * *

I first saw my mom and dad. Mom was crying and they were both waving at me. I smiled and ran towards them blissfully. I also saw Sirius come over. This must be heaven. But after what felt like a few moments, I felt someone pulling me back and the scene around me began to fade. _No!_ I thought. _ Don't take me back! Please! I want to stay here._

I regained consciousness and heard someone screaming, but soon realized it was me. I felt hands pushing me down onto a bed. I was crying, "No! Don't take me away! Please! I want to stay! Let me go back!" I refused to open my eyes and calm down despite the soothing words and shushes I could hear. I wanted to see my parents again. Why can't I just stay with them?

I felt something go down my throat and calmed down instantly. I heard a sigh of relief and opened my eyes to see who it was. I could see the blurred outline of a man in black and froze. Who was this? Where am I? I felt around for my glasses desperately. The man in black put them on my face. What I saw took me a moment to believe.

Snape was standing over me and looked very distraught. The first thing I think when I see him is _he's taken me to Voldemort. I'm going to die._ I close my eyes accepting this, knowing that I'll be with my parents and Sirius again.

* * *

"Where is he?" is the first thing the child says when he calms down. The way he said it though, so emotionless and hopeless and _accepting_. What is he thinking?

I carefully respond, "Where is who?"

He looks me in the eye when he says, "Voldemort." He says it like it's the most obvious thing in the world. I'm taken back.

"What- I- Why would you be with him?" I sputter. I can't believe that's the first thing he says when he sees me. What has this child been through?

_What have __**I**__ done to him?_

He looks thoroughly confused now. "Didn't you take me to him?"

I shake my head. "No! I would never!" I say incredulously. What have I done to make him believe that? Is it because I'm a Death Eater spy? Because of what I've put him through? Is he confused because of all the abuse?

The boy looks almost disappointed. "Oh..." He closes his eyes and sighs.

**What do you think? Sorry it's so short. It looked longer than what it really is. . **

**Please review If you think it's terrible, tell me! If you love it, tell me! I love hearing from people! I will update as soon as I can, however this next week will be extremely busy for me seeing I work nearly everyday. Thanks a bunch for reading!**

**UPDATE: Okay, I _really_ need you guys to review if you want me to keep going. I need to know what's good and what's not. What do you want more or less of? How is the grammar and such? Is there any characters you'd like to see? Am I being too melodramatic? Etc.? Once I get about 5 more reviews I will write the next chapter. K, pumpkins? :3**


	5. Chapter 5

I look at him amazed. The only thing he really has in common with his father is his looks. I'd always thought the boy was pampered and stuck-up. I was proven very wrong.

I shove those thoughts aside to focus on the situation at hand. "Where did you get all those injuries?" I ask him carefully.

He looks around wildly and stutters, "I-I fell down some- some stairs." He looks at me with Lily's huge eyes, begging me to believe him and not ask further questions.

I felt emotion swell up inside me when I see Lily looking up at me, broken and helpless. I pity the boy. I don't know why- maybe the eyes, maybe the state he's in, maybe the fact I finally want what's best for Lily's only son- but I feel unmistakable sympathy for the boy laying tortured in front of me.

"I know you're lying," I say gently and he looks away, "But I will let you rest for now, simply because that's what you need most. However, you will eventually tell me the truth."

* * *

I couldn't believe Snape was just letting me off that easy! He's _never_ let me off for lying and I can't help but wonder if this is some sort of trick to lull me into a false sense of security. I really hope not, but deep down I know that's all it could be. I swallow back the tears that threatened to escape. "Thank you, sir."

He nods and walks away, leaving me alone to think. I'm immensely grateful.

I think about what happened at the Dursley's. I know I was getting what I deserved. I'd let Sirius and Cedric die. Death would be merciful for that. I deserve to be tortured, handed over to Voldemort so he can torture me painfully for weeks before finally defeating the only one who ever had the slightest chance of destroying him.

Of course, then he would win, and I would only cause more suffering to everyone I left. Hermione, Ron, Ginny, and everyone else would have to suffer from Voldemort's wrath for just supporting me at any point and then eventually, die. I couldn't do that to them. Therefore the only other alternative was living. I had to survive for them. I knew I was too far gone to be saved, so I had to do it for them.

I felt myself grow sleepy and dizzy as all these thoughts swirled around inside my head and concluded that maybe if I just closed my eyes for a bit, it would go away...

* * *

When I woke up I heard voices. Snape was arguing with Dumbledore. "...can't go back, blood wards or not!" I heard him insist. They were talking about me then.

"But, Severus, we must face the fact he is _safest_ there." I felt panic begin to rise in my chest. They couldn't send me back! _But they should_, a little voice told me.

"He will never have the strength to defeat the Dark Lord from that dreaded house!" Snape was actually defending me. Wow.

"I will talk to the Dursley's personally so they will understand that he can not be treated like that anymore. I will tell them his task so they will help him prepare for it." I scoffed in my head. They would never understand. They would feel more sympathy towards a rat.

Snape sighed. "I know there's nothing I can do to stop you, Professor, but know now, if I find him in the same state again, I will not hesitate to take appropriate actions without your consent." He was giving in Why? He had been defending me so passionately before, why give in?

Dumbledore said, "Thank you for that. I must be off to speak with them so he may return tomorrow."

"TOMORROW?!" I flinch. "That's much too soon!" Snape yelled.

"He will be fine, Severus."

Snape said something I couldn't understand and then I heard him stalk away.

Madam Pomfrey had just returned and seen me awake and gave me some potions. I fell back into an easy sleep.

* * *

**What do you think? Please review! I'm SO sorry for not updating sooner! I will be updating my other story, And Break He Did, as soon as I can! Thanks so much for reading and, again, don't forget to review!**


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